Translatero.com > Quotes > Quotes of A. Whitney Brown

English Russian German Spanish French Italian Portuguese Polish

I am as frustrated with society as a pyromaniac in a petrified forest.

Anger Confusion Frustration

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Funny Hate Sarcastic

Plant trees. They give us two of the most crucial elements for our survival: oxygen and books.

Book Oxygen Two

The past actually happened. History is what someone took the time to write down.

History Past Writing

The Baptists believe in The Right to Life before you're born. They also believe in Life After Death, but that is a privilege and you have to earn it by spending the interim in guilt-ridden misery. At an early age I decided that living a life of pious misery in the hope of going to heaven when it's over is a lot like keeping your eyes shut all through a movie in the hope of getting your money back at the end.

Believe Eye Heaven

The very fact that the jaguar can become extinct while the Pekingese survives indicates to me that someone hasn't thought this thing through.

Facts Jaguars Pekingese

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.

Funny Humorous Military

Any good history book is mainly just a long list of mistakes, complete with names and dates. It's very embarrassing.

Book Mistake Names

A group of white South Africans recently killed a black lawyer because he was black. That was wrong. They should have killed him because he was a lawyer.

Black And White Racism Should Have

Saint George killed the last dragon, and he was called a hero for it. I've never seen a dragon, and I wish he would have left at least one. Saint Patrick made a name for himself by running the snakes out of Ireland, leaving the place vulnerable to rodent infestation. This business of making saints out of men who exterminate their fellow creatures has got to stop. All I'm saying is, it's starting to get a little lonely up here at the top of the food chain.

Hero Lonely Running

I don't know if the unborn has rights, but I do know that being born again doesn't give you more rights.

Born Again Giving Rights

There's a lot we should be able to learn from history. And yet history proves that we never do. In fact, the main lesson of history is that we never learn the lessons of history. This makes us look so stupid that few people care to read it. They'd rather not be reminded. Any good history book is mainly just a long list of mistakes, complete with names and dates. It's very embarrassing.

Book Mistake Stupid

Once again decent citizens will be able to enter this house of worship, kneel down in front of a nearly-naked man hanging from a wooden apparatus by a series of gruesome body piercings, and engage in their bizarre practices of ritualized blood-drinking and cannibalism without being assaulted by graphic images of attractive young women with bare breasts.

Blood Drinking Men

There are a billion people in China. It's not easy to be an individual in a crowd of more than a billion people. Think of it. More than a billion people. That means even if you're a one-in-a-million type of guy, there are still a thousand guys exactly like you.

Humility Mean Thinking

The Baptists' basic theology is that if you hold someone under water long enough, he'll come around to your way of thinking. It's a ritual known as 'Bobbing for Baptists.'

Long Thinking Water

I'm not an athiest. How can you not believe in something that doesn't exist? That's way too convoluted for me.

Atheism Believe Way

Enjoy every minute. There's plenty of time to be dead.

Enjoy Minutes Time

I don't know whether you have any rights before you're born. All I know is that being born again doesn't entitle you to twice as many.

Born Again Religion Rights

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

Funny Humor Laughter

The Bible says, 'The truth shall make you free.' But let's not forget it was Spiro Agnew who said that a good lie will keep you out of jail in the first place.

Jail Lying Wisdom