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Babies on television never spit up on the Ultrasuede.

I have always felt that too much time was given before the birth, which is spent learning things like how to breathe in and out with your husband (I had my baby when they gave you a shot in the hip and you didn't wake up until the kid was ready to start school), and not enough time given to how to mother after the baby is born.

I've always felt there are two things a woman should never do after the age of thirty-five: stand in natural light and have a baby.

The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, "Could I get you your check?" and we answered, "How about the menu first?"

Let us hope manufacturers can come up with a diaper that is environmentally sound. To go back to cloth would send us back to the day when breathing and raising a baby at the same time were incompatible.

I got so much food spit back in my face when my kids were small, I put windshield wipers on my glasses.

For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn.

Ernest Hemingway

I don't want to be your friend, baby. I am your friend.

Ernest Hemingway

Oh, yeah, I see the world differently now. Actually, when I first had the baby, I was breast-feeding him for two years straight. So we were together for two years of his life, every single day, all hours of the day. So I was two people, and I eventually morphed back into one

I'm a total water-baby. I've seen some pristine beaches, from Greece to Goa.

I am not in favor of immortality. I believe death for humans is the way of getting rid of accumulated errors - as in trial and error. Without death, the old folks would start to gang up on the babies (the new trials). Immortality --> immortal mistakes.

What is a bad thing anyway? A bad thing is something that is different than what I want. Who gets to decide what the bad thing is? Jerry and Esther watched the mother bird lay her eggs in the nest, and then the neighbor's cat ate the baby bird. Esther said "bad cat!" And the cat said, "good bird!

Babies are thinking and attracting before they are speaking. Even though you are only months old in your physical body, you are a very old and wise Creator, focused in that baby's body.

There ain't no "baby mama drama" up in this Vortex, homie!

Children or babies learn to mimic the vibration of the adults who surround them long before they learn to mimic their words.

Jazz took too much discipline. You have to come in at the right place, which is different than me singing the blues, where I can sing, 'Oh, baby,' if there's a pause in the melody. With jazz, you better leave that space open, or put in something real cool.

He is so mean, he won't let his little baby have more than one measle at a time.

Here we have a baby. It is composed of a bald head and a pair of lungs.

I don't have a kid, but I think that I would be a good father, especially if my baby liked to go out drinking.

Boys have penises and girls have vaginas. If they touch at the wrong time, you can make a baby or die.