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So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.'

Tim Vine

Funny Games Humor

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red.

Chinese Ducks Red

Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds.

Blow Couple Tricks

Ive decided to sell my Hoover… well, it was just collecting dust.

Collecting Dust Hoover